As I scrolled through my Twitter feed earlier this week, I stumbled upon a rather interesting video. It was a clip from the children’s favorite Barbie: Life In The Dreamhouse. Intrigued as to why someone I follow would retweet a video targeted for young girls, I opened the two minute clip. As I watched, I realized that Barbie, of all fictional characters, was teaching me a lesson about a problem I did not even know I had.
The clip opens with Barbie sitting in front a camera explaining how her friends and sisters wanted her to do a vlog, a form of blogging that has earned great popularity in the past few years, on “sorry.” She then goes on to explain the problem around “sorry.” Not only do a ton of people make false apologies, but they also, especially women, apologize for things they have no need to apologize for. If I am walking in the street and someone bumps into me, I end up apologizing. If a restaurant messes up my order, I apologize when I ask them to fix the mistake. If I am upset, I apologize in fear of making someone uncomfortable. We are so afraid of offending people that we are constantly apologizing. And here’s the one that really gets to me, if i apologize to someone and they say, “Piper, do not say sorry for that,” I go on and apologize for saying I was sorry! How awful is that?
Another issue around “sorry,” one that I suffer from way more than I should, is I apologize when I am talking about something I am passionate about. If I am with a group of friends and I start rambling on about a new clothing item I found or a new book I am reading, I apologize in fear that I am boring them. The fact that I do this is beyond me. No one is born apologizing for themselves. It is something we are taught. I do not even want to know how many times I say “sorry” in a day.
Like Barbie in the video linked below, I challenge you to count how many times you unnecessarily say “sorry” throughout the day, then switch it around with “thank you.” If someone bumps into you in the street, tell them it is alright. If your order is messed up at a restaurant, politely tell your server, “Excuse me, but I ordered that instead of this. Would you mind fixing that for me?” and when they come back with your updated dish, say, “Thank you so much for fixing that mix up.” If you are being emotional, tell the person you are with that you appreciate them understanding your feelings.
Do not allow the fear of upsetting or offending someone cause you to steer away from who you are. If you are passionate about something, make sure people know! Do not say you are sorry because you think they do not care. I promise you, if you are passionate about something and the person who are with really cares about you, your excitement will be enough to make the most uninterested person interested. As a good friend one told me, never censor your mind.